It’s important to stay curious. That’s one of the reasons we founded the Wise & Zeal book club – we select, read and discuss a new business book each quarter. Focusing on new ideas and new possibilities for learning, our book club is open to everyone! If you’d like to join in, please register here.
Our most recent book club book, Lisa Abramson’s Permission to Fail: The Overachiever’s Guide to Becoming Unstoppable inspired a valuable conversation around resilience, teamwork and personal growth.
The book’s leading message is that resilience is a mindset built over time, not an innate gift only some possess – and that allowing ourselves space to fail is a crucial part of that learning journey. It proposes that by welcoming failure rather than avoiding it, we open the door to new opportunities to hone our skills and thrive.
Building a resilient mindset
The author’s five proposed strategies for building a resilient mindset prompted great debate.
Primarily, we all agreed that our most challenging moments at work have, in fact, armed us with vital knowledge and experience we use every day – not only at work but in all areas of our lives. We also discussed the ways we’d each overcome perceived failures and learnt from career setbacks, and the roles colleagues and peers can play in helping us bounce back when we feel disheartened.
Of the five strategies, the group agreed that these three were the most insightful:
1. Getting comfortable being uncomfortable
According to Abramson, we fear the feelings we associate with failure more than we fear failure itself. The group acknowledged the importance of processing uncomfortable emotions and how it’s natural to feel defeated and ashamed when things go wrong. In learning to tolerate these feelings, we agreed, we prepare ourselves for our (inevitable!) future failures.
Some of us, however, countered the author’s thinking and approach, highlighting that too much contemplation can lead to overthinking and unnecessary stress. We each shared our own methods for processing discomfort without elevating stress levels, such as a five-minute self-reflection window followed by a short, focused peer-to-peer debrief.
A problem shared is absolutely a problem halved. I feel much more grounded once I’ve discussed a problem with my team and realised it’s not as big a deal as I thought it was.
2. Connecting to your why
According to Abramson, though setbacks can lead to harsh self-criticism and self-doubt, it’s remembering our guiding principle – which she calls our ‘why’ – that helps us mentally reset in the face of failure. Abramson suggests the most powerful guiding principles are those connected to giving and growing.
We agreed that it’s easy to lose sight of our ‘whys’ when the going gets tough, but that keeping them front and centre does fuel us to push forward.
3. Making time to reset
You can’t spell ‘resilient’ without ‘rest’! We’re all guilty of sometimes prioritising work over downtime; understanding our personal relationship with rest is an important stepping stone on the path to greater resilience. Prompted by this section of the book, we shared some of our favourite ways to reset after a long day; many of the group said taking short breaks throughout the working day helped them remove distractions and gain creative sparks that wouldn’t be triggered sitting at their desk.
‘I really liked the idea that you need to fill your cup first, and that starts with my morning coffee ritual.’
Failure is feedback
Beyond building resilience, the concept that failure is feedback really resonated with us as a group. Everyone could recall failures they’d experienced which, despite feeling impossible to overcome at the time, had in hindsight taught them valuable lessons that supported them in navigating their next challenge.
‘This reminded me of Roger Federer’s speech at Dartmouth College. He said that winning a single point in tennis is crucial in the moment, but once it’s won or lost, you learn from it, put it behind you and focus on the next.’
The pathway to resilience
We ended the session by committing to embrace past failures and those we may face in the future. We agreed to use the lessons learnt to navigate our setbacks with resilience, ultimately concluding that why we fail is far less important than how we learn from and overcome our failures – and how quickly we can lift ourselves and others back up.